Spray On The Cheese By John Patrick Robbins

 

My ex phoned me up and said.

"Hey guess what you no longer getting?"

I took a sip of my cocktail not batting an eye.

"A reason not to have to visit the free clinic every month?"

"Hey fuck you asshole!"

She said as she hung up.

Sure she was married now with putz of an old man with a steady job and that whole nine yards bullshit.

But as I looked around at my dumpsteresk shit hole of a room.

I knew somewhere deep down in her blackened heart.

She totally, still wanted me.

I was truly living the dream that oddly resembled a nightmare.

John Patrick Robbins, is the current poet laureate of both Valhalla and Hel.

He stands as the editor in chief of over ten million magazines yet oddly enough has been rejected by all of them.

He is currently in college working towards his masters degree in fine ass appreciation and slurred social studies.

When not annoying the living hell out of lit snobs and grammar nazi's he enjoys drunk dialing poets on Facebook to ask the deep philosophical question of what are you wearing?

Then calling them out as liars for he can clearly see them as he is watching them through their window.

He also hosts a game show in Japan where he is a national treasure called.

Let's Play Chicken With The Bullet Train.

Which nobody has to this date has won and is currently on its seventh season.

He is also working on a duet with Godzilla and Piers Morgan.

He enjoys fishing at Sea World where he is currently banned for life.

He is on tour and will be appearing at a bar or local drunk tank near you shortly.

It's rumored he likes to party.