Your iPhone Never Sleeps As Neither Do I By John Patrick Robbins


They say Google is always listening as it consorts with Facebook; apparently they’re cyberbros.

As you will see evidence from the ads that generate as you scroll, like, and share memes like the brain dead zombies you truly are.

But I find it odd that never once have I seen ads for grave robbing or serial killing or mass murders at open mics or Winnie the Pooh. Not even once.

With that said, I'm officially off social media!

Because I'm driving to get me a brand new iPhone. I mean, I had to sell a kidney to afford it.

Good thing it wasn't mine.

Waste not, want not.

Ciao.





Bio 669

John Patrick Robbins is the owner of an elitist cemetery franchise, for even as you decompose, there is a six-year waiting list.

He hates humanity but loves fast food and sluts. 
He has been most recently published on Interpol for his favorite hobby, serial killing.

He collects fine wines that he drinks from the skulls of rejected writers and enemies alike. Mmmmmmmm tasty.

He also has a master's degree in sexual harassment and ping pong. He killed all his mentors. He is now the Highlander, so suck it! 

He is also the poet laureate of Hell.
Where the music kicks royal fucking ass.

He holds the Guinness Book World Record as history's most excellent bio writer.
He once met himself on an acid trip; he hasn't been the same since.


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